ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
