How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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