well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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