Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
