Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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