Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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