Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize