So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize