If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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