I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
