you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
