just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
