Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize