ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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