So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
COCAINE IS GR8
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
