shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
