I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
