IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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