So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
