You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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