She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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