let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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