Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
