oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
People in love make me want to vomit
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
