i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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