Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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