so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
