it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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