so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
it glows. i had to have it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
