i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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