I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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