I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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