so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
