hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
