I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
