Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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