Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
