Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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