Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
