the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
