PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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