Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
