the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
