My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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