are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
