i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
