He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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