It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
