ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
