Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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