:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
