Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize