dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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