Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
