I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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